SUNLIGHT ON MY FACE

Heartache....and lots of it. That's what I've had.

Don't stop reading yet. I will try to transition from Eeyore to Tigger, but I need to process this "aloud." Well, you know what I mean.

Now, I don't plan on spelling out all of the heartache because some of it is current and I would not want to sabotage anyone.

But have you ever had such a deep and profound heartache that you can feel it from your very center? If you haven't, you should. Not that I wish this pain on anyone, but it plumbs to your very core and everyone needs to know that everything isn't always hunkey-dorey in life.

When you allow yourself to love someone, whether it is a spouse, child, or friend - you are automatically put in the 'heart-breakable' category.

                                                                                                               

I wrote the above back in May and I am not sure which heartache I was referring to at that point. I do remember writing it and the FEELING that was with it....just not exactly which person in my life I was allowing to twist my heart so much.

...no matter....

The truth is I HAVE had and STILL have heartache! I'm not sure it ever stops. There are humans that I know who don't "seem" to have any. Could this be possible? 

Anyway, it is how we respond to the heartache and how we live AMIDST it that matters.

Viktor E. Frankl, the late Nazi concentration camp survivor and one of the greatest psychologists of the 20th century said this:

"Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

                                                                                                                

Now it is the end of October 2011, and I have gone through several months of a sort of darkness. That is probably why I haven't written anything. 

I gave in to the weights that were pulling me under. I gave in to the thoughts of despair that clouded my thinking. Once that happened, I lost perspective. 

Even King David experienced this. This Psalm is meaningful to me today:

Because he turned his ear to me,
   I will call on him as long as I live.

 The cords of death entangled me,
   the anguish of the grave came over me;
   I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the LORD:
   “LORD, save me!”

 So, I have decided to be happy again. The circumstances haven't changed yet, but I have chosen to crawl out of my deep hole that I had sunk into... and feel the warm sunlight on my face.