Grateful again….
Today, February 6th, is my birthday. One year ago I was freshly out of two long and painful weeks in the hospital only after two long months of unexplained pain and “suffering in silence”. I had embarked on one of the strangest “adventures” I had ever been on. The year has gone fast in slow motion… I felt like I no longer had any control over my life and health.
Truth is, what I did and do still have control of is my ATTITUDE. I know I have quoted him before, but among my all-time favorites is from Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, he says “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
It hasn’t been easy - and still is not an everyday victory…. But all in all, I am so very grateful that God lets us choose how we want to live. When we make the choice for Joy and Healing, the very act of moving towards and through it is strengthening in and of itself.
Just because I live by my mantra “Choose Joy” - doesn’t mean I wake up joyful every morning. It doesn’t mean everyone I come into contact with walks away saying, “She sure is a joyful person” - not by a long shot. It just means that I have the choice and each time I choose it, it makes that muscle just that much stronger.
I have also chosen healing. Now, some of you think that you are not “healed” if you don’t wake up in the morning and magically feel better and ready to dance a jig. But even when Jesus did His miraculous healings while He walked the earth, he often asked something of the recipient of the miracle. For instance, the guy who couldn’t walk... He told him to pick up his bed and walk (John 5:8). This guy was used to laying on his bed and begging for help from people who walked by. Jesus told him to help himself by picking up his bed and changing the position of his body and my guess is that it also changed the position of his heart. It was by his intentional and obedient action of picking up his bed that healed him.
For me, this last year has been a change of many things including: diet, toxins in my body, environment, spiritual life and de-stressing my home and work life.
Detoxing my diet, body, and environment, de-stressing my home, work, and spiritual life.
Now THAT is a tall order! But by eating that “elephant” one bite at a time, it is getting there!
Those “good choice muscles” had gotten lazy and flabby. So I have embarked on a journey of healing that has made me “pick up my bed and walk.”
1. Change of diet. No, I’m not ON a diet - I have had to change the way I eat if I want to remain healthy. Yes, I have joined the “juicing” crowd. I am NOT a cook. In fact, I somewhat despise cooking food to just eat. (But that’s another conversation.) I studied up on what is GOOD for me from people who have gone through similar experiences (especially Chris Wark). I no longer trust what “experts” tell me. (That’s also another conversation). I simply buy or grow REAL whole, organic foods and juice them and make smoothies and take supplements and homemade herbal remedies NOT made by big pharma. I do not take any medication, just supplements. (CYA: I'm not telling you what to do... just what I am doing.) It takes a lot of effort and intentionality but every time I go back to eating certain “bad for me” things - my body gets pretty mad at me.
2. Detoxing: my body - also means “moving” more. I have been slow to pick up that bed and I have a million excuses. However, as I am flexing that muscle, I am feeling like my body may actually live for a few more years! This whole last year of illness and recovery has made me pretty lazy. It’s a work in progress! (Just to clarify - I do not and will never “go to the gym” - there are other ways.)
3. Detoxing: my environment - silly things like decluttering the shyte that I spent my younger years collecting. These are decisions that only I can make - and making them I am! It’s tough to decide which plaster of paris handprint or kindergarten self-portrait to keep….) It’s really slow because I still have to work and make money. I have even renovated my bathrooms and bedrooms with a cleaner, newer environment.
4. De-stressing: This should have probably been #1 on the list. I breathe a sigh of relief even as I write this. I won’t go into all of the details, but suffice it to say, my stress level (see this long ago post for more reference) was off the charts. I’m working on a more peaceful work and home life. I have a room that I call my “Peace Room”, and don’t allow myself to “work” in there. I can write, read, paint, dream, and pray. To be fair, I haven’t completely left politics out of my life - I feel it is so current that I don’t want to miss out on something important. However, as a rule, I am not engaging in social media conversation about it - but just keeping up. I’ve had to distance myself from those people (don’t worry - it’s not you….) who have been poisonous to my spirit. There is a LOT in that statement that I will not discuss in this writing.
5. Saving the best for last - God has been ever present with me. At the beginning of this all I asked Him for strategies to cross this raging river of illness. He presented me with all of the above and topped it off by reminding me that prayer is THE most important part of this. I am learning to flex those prayer muscles more and getting stronger. (I just read: "Draw the Circle" by Mark Batterson - highly recommend.)
Just know this: Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Now you have NO excuses why God heals others and not you.
Pick up your bed and walk.
