My Happy Heart

It is never too late to be who you might have been. ~George Eliot

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I MEANT WHAT I SAID AND I SAID WHAT I MEANT, A MOTHER IS FAITHFUL ONE HUNDRED PERCENT


The children's book, "Horton Hatches The Egg" by Dr. Seuss has long been my favorite. 

I suppose it is because I have hatched other people's eggs and love them as my own. In fact, they ARE my own. My children, whether I gave birth to them or adopted them, are loved by me. LOVED.

Most of my children accept my love. Sadly, some do not. Some of them look at me and see the love and sacrifice I have made for them and love back.... and some curse me for adopting them.

Oh, don't think it doesn't happen - it does in my life. So, if you are one that curses me for adopting you, please know that when you finally see life through mature eyes and get to a place where your child is cursing you for loving them - only then will you understand.

Horton Hatches the Egg, is about a bird who was sick of sitting on her egg and found an elephant, Horton, who was willing to sit on her egg while she was on vacation. Trouble is, she never came back to take care of her egg. When all of the hard work was done, she wanted her egg back and Horton was heartbroken. But when the egg hatched, instead of looking like the bird that laid the egg, it was an elephant-bird and looked like Horton, who had taken care of it for all of this time.

There is a situation in my own life where "Mayzie", the bird who was not willing to do the hard work, but only wanted to play - has come back to claim her eggs. Her eggs don't realize that "Mayzie" left them for drugs in the care of strangers and sometimes alone and in life-threatening situations as very, very young children. Her eggs also don't realize that "Mayzie" forfeited her eggs to social services and was even given do-overs...but decided drugs were more important.

These precious eggs do not understand that "Horton" did what he did so they could have a chance at life. These eggs do not know how they have broken "Horton's" heart...and at the same time...mine.

I have included both the story read by a storyteller (in two videos) or read the text below that. Both tell the story of the faithful Horton. And both express a bit of what I have gone through in my own life.

This is part one:


This is part two:
 

  
 
Horton Hatches The Egg
By: Dr. Seuss

Sighed Mayzie, a lazy bird hatching an egg:
“I’m tired and I’m bored
And I’ve kinks in my leg
From sitting, just sitting here day after day.
It’s work! How I hate it!
I’d much rather play!
I’d take a vacation, fly off for a rest
If I could find someone to stay on my nest!
If I could find someone, I’d fly away-free…”

Then Horton, the Elephant, passed by her tree.
“Hello!” called the lazy bird, smiling her best,
“You’ve nothing to do and I do need a rest.
Would you like to sit on the egg in my nest?”

The elephant laughed.
“Why, of all silly things!
I haven’t feathers and I haven’t wings.
Me on your egg? Why, that doesn’t make sense…
Your egg is so small, ma’am, and I’m so immense!”
“Tut, tut,” answered Mayzie.  “I know you’re not small
But I’m sure you can do it. No trouble at all.
Just sit on it softly. You’re gentle and kind.
Come, be a good fellow.  I know you won’t mind.”
“I can’t,” said the elephant
“PL-E-E-ASE!” begged the bird.
“I won’t be gone long, sir.  I give you my word.
I’ll hurry right back.  Why, I’ll never be missed….”

“Very well,” said the elephant, “since you insist…
You want a vacation.  Go fly off and take it.
I’ll sit on your egg and I’ll try not to break it.
I’ll stay and be faithful.  I mean what I say.”
“Toodle-oo!” sang out Mayzie and fluttered away.

“H-m-m-m..the first thing to do,” murmured Horton,
“Let’s see…
The first thing to do is to prop up this tree
And make it much stronger. That has to be done
Before I get on it. I must weigh a ton.”

Then carefully,
Tenderly,
Gently he crept
Up the trunk to the nest where the little egg slept.

Then Horton the elephant smiled.  “Now that’s that…”
And he sat
And he sat
And he sat
And he sat….

And he sat all that day
And he kept the egg warm…
And he sat all that night
Through a terrible storm.
It poured and it lightninged!
It thundered! It rumbled!
“This isn’t much fun,”
The poor elephant grumbled.
“I wish she’d come back
‘Cause I’m cold and I’m wet.
I hope that that Mayzie bird doesn’t forget.”

But Mayzie, by this time, was far beyond reach,
Enjoying the sunshine way off in the Palm Beach,
And having such fun, such a wonderful rest,
Decided she’d never go back to her nest!
  
So Horton kept sitting there, day after day.
And soon it was Autumn.  The leaves blew away.
And then came the Winter…the snow and the sleet!
And icicles hung
From his trunk and his feet.
But Horton kept sitting, and said with a sneeze,
“I’ll stay on this egg and I won’t let it freeze.
I meant what I said
And I said what I meant…
An elephant’s faithful
One hundred per cent!”

So poor Horton sat there
The whole winter through…
And then came the springtime
With troubles anew!
His friends gathered round
And they shouted with glee.

“Look! Horton the Elephant’s up in a tree!”
They taunted, they teased him,
 They yelled, “How Absurd!”
“Old Horton the Elephant
Thinks hE’s a bird!”

They Laughed the they Laughed, Then they al ran away.
And Horton was lonely. He wanted to play
but he sat on the egg and continued to say
“I meant what I said
And I said what I meant…
An elephant’s faithful
One hundred per cent!

“No matter What happens,
This egg must be tended!”
But poor Horton’s troubles
Were far, far from ended
For, while Horton sat there
So faithful, so kind,
Three hunters came sneaking
Up softly behind!

He heard the men’s footsteps!
He turned with a start!
Three rifles were aiming
Right strait at his heart!

Did he run?
He did not!
HORTON STAYED ON THAT NEST!
He held his head high
And he threw out his chest
And he looked at the hunters
As much as to say:
“Shoot if you must
But I won’t run away!
I meant what I said
And I said what I meant…
An elephant’s faithful
One hundred per cent!”

But the men didn’t shoot!
Much to Horton’s surprise
They dropped their three guns
And they stared with wide eyes!
“look!” they all shouted,
“Can such a thing be?
An elephant sitting on top of a tree…”

“It’s strange!  It’s amazing!  It’s wonderful!  New!
Don’t shoot him.  We’ll catch him.  That’s just what we’ll do!
Let’s take him alive.  Why, he’s terribly funny!
We’ll sell him back to a circus, for money!”

And the first thing he knew, they had built a big wagon
With ropes on the front for the pullers to drag on.
They dug up his tree and they put it inside,
With Horton so sad that he practically cried.
“we’re off!”  the men shouted.  And off they all went
With Horton unhappy, one hundred per cent.

Up out of the jungle!  Up into the sky!
Up over the mountains ten thousand feet high!
Then down, down the mountains
And down to the sea
Went the cart with the elephant,
Egg, nest and tree…

Then out of the wagon
And onto a ship!
Out over the ocean…
And ooh, what a trip!
Rolling and tossing and splashed with the spray!
And Horton said, day after day after day,
“I meant what I said
And I said what I meant…
But oh, am I seasick!
One hundred per cent!”

After bobbing around for two weeks like a cork,
They landed at last in the town of New York.
“All ashore!” the men shouted,
And down with a lurch
Went Horton the Elephant
Still on his perch,
Tied onto a board that could just scarcely hold him…
Bump!
Horton landed!
And then the men sold him!

Sold to a circus!  Then week after week
They showed him to people at ten cents a peek.
They took him to Boston, to Kalamazoo,
Chicago, Weehawken and Washington, too;
To Dayton, Ohio; St. Paul, Minnesota;
To Wichita, Kansas; to Drake, North Dakota.
And everywhere thousands of folks flocked to see
And laugh at the elephant up in a tree.
Poor Horton grew sadder the farther he went,
But he said as he sat in the hot noisy tent:
“I meant what I said, and I said what I meant…
An elephant’s faithful—one hundred per cent!”

Then…one day
The circus show happened to reach
A town way down south, not so far from Palm Beach.
And, dawdling along way up high in the sky,
Who (of all people!) should chance to fly by
But that old good-for-nothing bird, runaway Mayzie!
Still on vacation and still just as lazy.
And, spying the flags and the tents just below,
She sang out, “What fun! Why, I’ll go to the show!”

And she swooped from the clouds
Through an open tent door…
“Good gracious!” gasped Mayzie,
“I’ve seen you before!”
Poor Horton looked up with his face white as chalk!
He started to speak, but before he could talk…

There rang out the noisiest ear-splitting squeaks
From the egg that he’d sat on for fifty-one weeks!
A thumping! A Bumping! A wild alive scratching!
“My egg!”  Shouted Horton. “My egg! Why, it’s hatching!”

“But it’s Mine!” screamed the bird, when she heard the egg crack.
(the work was all done. Now she wanted it back.)
“It’s my egg!” she sputtered.  “You stole it from me!
Get off of my nest and get out of my tree!”
Poor Horton backed down
With a sad, heavy heart…

But at that very instant, the egg burst apart!
And out of the pieces of red and white shell,
From the egg that he’d sat on so long and so well,
Horton the Elephant saw something whizz!
It had Ears
And a Tail
And a trunk just like his!

And the people came shouting,  “what’s all this about…?”
They looked! And they stared with their eyes popping out!
Then they cheered and they cheered and they cheered more and more.
They’d never seen anything like it before!
“My goodness! My gracious!” they shouted. “My Word!
It’s something brand new!
It’s an elephant-bird!!
And it should be, it should be, it should be like that!
Because Horton was faithful!  He sat and he sat!
He meant what he said
And he said what he meant…”

…And they sent him home
Happy,
One hundred per cent!


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

MOUTHING THE WORDS (Everything is Sound)

I've had a hard couple of days....really hard....really really hard.

I even cried quite a few times yesterday. I felt disrespected and small.

I have felt disrespected too many times in my life
............and I still don't know how to take it.

I knew I wouldn't stay in that place, but it did not help much to know that.

I wallowed all day.

So, this morning I turned on some music that I haven't listen to in awhile. Since my heart was still sad, as I showered, I found myself mouthing the words to:
"...if rain clouds come or the cold winds blow You're the One who goes before me and in my heart I know, that this good day, it is a gift from You, the world is turning in its place because You made it to...." (Fernando Ortega)
I usually sing with gusto in the shower, but today only my lips moved. As my lips were moving, I wondered if just mouthing the words would help.... kind of a "fake it 'til you make it" thing. I smiled a bit at that thought and continued through my day.

After struggling through the day with ugly and dark thoughts, I finally got into my car and headed home. I threw in my new Jason Mraz CD and the song: "Everything is Sound" came on and it made all of the difference with the words:

It's a song that I've forgotten often
It doesn't make me wrong
Cause we all need the darkness, to see the light
In our own eyes, come on, and sing it


 

Everything is  Sound

When there is love, I can't wait to talk about it
When things get rough, I like to walk with you
Or when it's night, I like to be the light that's missing
And remind you every minute of the future isn't written
Not yet

When there is love, or when the heart feels heavy
We can lighten it up, if you've had enough
Well you can empty your glass and we can fill it back up
You know it's up to us to make it all up
So what you making up? I can make it up back
You could be loved no matter what
And know the only time is right now, it's right where... where you are
You don't need a vacation when there's nothing to escape from

Singing
La la la la
Let's all sing
La la la la
Laying it down
Everything is sound

Let's sing to be happy, to feel things, to communicate, and be heard
Or sing out to protest, and to project, and to harmonize with birds
Whether it's your birthday or your dying day
It's a celebration too
Rejoice to use your voice and give wings to any of choice
Whatever you're choosing right now, it's right where... where you are
You don't need a vacation when there's nothing to escape from

Set your vibration and undulation to the highest it can go
And trust me, hear me
If it makes you wanna sing
Just sing it

La la la la
Let's all sing
La la la la
Laying it down
Everything is sound
La la la la
Let's all sing
La la la la
Hallelujah

It's a song that I've forgotten often
It doesn't make me wrong
Cause we all need the darkness, to see the light
In our own eyes, come on, and sing it

I'm gonna be okay now that I remembered my song.