I work with someone who has never had, nor will ever have, children. She and her husband have chosen to "parent" dogs. They call them "the babies." They have 5 large
Now, don't get me wrong. I ADORE my children. They have been my breath for 27 years. However, they have also taken my breath away....and not always in a good way.
I have also had dogs. ...and I don't love them like I LOVE my children. But....DOGS DON'T BREAK YOUR HEART.
Back to the dog analogy:
- Dogs just need to be trained once and one way....then they are good. They just want to please you FOREVER!
- Kids are a constant training. Once you finish one subject - you have to go to the next. And they don't seem to be consistent in the "I just want to please my mother" department.
For instance - dogs just do their thing. There is no moral teaching for dogs. They hump whatever they want and if it is our leg, we laugh and say, "look, they are dancing with us!" If it is a male to male hump, we suspect they are gay dogs and if it is a male to female, we know there will be a litter soon. Sure, we call the female a bitch, but we don't assign it the character of whore, like we may a human. If it is a male dog, we just say, "dogs will be dogs" and chuckle. If it is a male human we say he is immoral. (Don't think I am advocating human males to hump every girl they see...I am just establishing a parallel that I have NO idea where it will end up!)
- Kids are taught to obey their parents and, if they are of the Christian persuasion, they are taught to be moral of character. (That means anything their parents and/or the church teaches in word, but not necessarily in deed... Ouch.)
- Dogs forget that you yelled at them when they did something doggish. Take our former Rottweiler/Doberman mix, Beulah Mae Bugtussle. She was a pound puppy and was intent on eating her own excrement. I would yell and roll up a newspaper, or anything else the "experts" would tell me to whisper to her. But she apparently just loved the exploding worm flavor of her own shyte. It was gruesome and I finally had to let someone more up to the task, raise her. Ya just can't do that with kids.
- Dogs don't go to jail. They also do not have opposable thumbs so they cannot shoot poison into their veins. Some children do both.
- Kids save your foibles and gigantic mistakes until you are at your most vulnerable, and then shoot it directly into your veins. Or better yet, they wait until they are "adults" and tell you what a crappy parent you were and how their bad habits are your fault. You buy it. Your apologies for your mistakes are saved and used for ammo when needed at a later date. (You think I'm kidding?? Call me.)
- Dogs have REALLY REALLY bad habits. They lick their privates. They scratch habitually. They eat bugs or anything they have acquired a taste for* (see above comment about eating shyte.) Dogs do like a routine and develop habits that seem to work for them. We just smile and say how quirky they are.
- Kids grow up and can develop habits that change their lives. And ours.
....and that is where I am going with this....
Kids break your heart and dogs don't. It's the risk we take and hope it is worth it.
It's as simple as that. Having children is not for the faint of heart. If you think you have a leg up in the school of parenting....think again.... and then call me. If there was any idealist in life regarding children...it was me.
I read every flippin' James Dobson book there was....and then some. My friends would come to me for advice. As a respected leader, I taught young mothers how to be mothers and raise their children successfully. I was an expert.
Until I was an utter failure.
Now, don't email me and say that you don't think I'm a failure. I know you love me and don't think it is the truth....and if the truth were told....I don't really think it either. However, there are some pretty crazy things going on in the life of some of my children and if I follow all of the books I read and all of the Dr. Phil episodes I watched, I would fall under the category of BIG FAT FAILURE in the mother department.
But mothers ALWAYS HOPE.
There is a well known and over-quoted chapter in the bible that says:
"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate....
If
I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be
burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter
what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love
never dies....
....and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the
Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled....
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.
And the best of the three is love."
If I had do overs, would I have dogs or kids?
I would have to say kids. Why? Kids don't shed, they don't get fleas, they don't usually lick their privates, and they can be taught new tricks. AND....best of all, when they grow up, they just might get a job and become productive citizens.... remember, I said MIGHT.
