Life has been patiently waiting for me. I'm movin' on

Starting a new chapter... Closing the book... Closing the door... Moving on....

Those are all phrases I keep hearing about changes in life, especially divorce.

My divorce.

This isn't up for opinion and I'm not asking for advice. It just is.

You may not be okay with it.

I am.

As I mentioned in a previous blog "WHERE ARE YOU MY FRIENDS?" , many of who I thought were my dearest friends, are silent...still. Still silent and gone from my life. Sad.

RIP: June 26, 1976 to September 15, 2012.

It has been so very interesting over the last dozen years, to watch the slow cancerous death of a long marriage.  I will not go into detail, but I need you to know that there was no resuscitating this, and yes, I tried. But there comes a time when further attempts become foolish and ridiculous. 

So, I will not go into an angry rant. But rather, I want to play a song for you. You can understand it or not. I don't really care. My last blog: "WHO DIED AND MADE YOU GOD?" was the last criticism that I am going to take from any so called Christian brothers or sisters. I just don't deserve that from anyone. I have been hard enough on myself.

Much of this song by Rascal Flatts, "I'm Movin' On" is very profound for me.

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons...

 *more than you will ever know

I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself

*inner peace that is not given to me by people's opinions....but the assurance that I am doing the right thing.

I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change

*I've blamed myself and I've been blamed by family and friends. The only one who DID NOT blame me was God.

 *I have not been allowed to change by those who I know.

But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong

*But here I am, in a "faraway land" and I now call it home.

 

At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me 

 

*I am so very excited as I step into my future

There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

*Speaks for itself...

Give a listen: (full lyrics are below)

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons

Finally content with a past I regret

I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness

For once I'm at peace with myself

I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long

I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces

Each one is different but they're always the same

They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it

They'll never allow me to change

But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong

I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on

At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me

And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone

There comes a time in everyone's life

When all you can see are the years passing by

And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't

Stopped to fill up on my way out of town

I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't

I had to lose everything to find out

Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road

I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on