CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: DROP DEAD OR HAVE PEACE

 Well, it's official, I am stressed! I just took the HOLMES-RAHE LIFE STRESS INVENTORY and am pretty sure I have far surpassed the "drop dead" mark on the stress chart. The website says:

What Your Score Means
When you add up your total number of all the stressors combined, you receive a result of how likely you are to develop a minor, moderate or serious illness in the next two years. Here is the severity scale:
    •    A score of 300 or more, puts you at serious risk of illness or breakdown.
    •    A score of 200-299 puts you a moderate risk of illness, such as headache, diabetes, fatigue, hypertension, chest and back pain, ulcers, and infectious diseases.
    •    A score of 150 or less has you only at a slight risk of illness.

 My score was 738. Bright future, eh?

As I was feeling rather stressed this past week, while in Seattle and graduating one of our sons from college and burying my mother-in-law, I was getting this out-of-the-blue onset of panic and anxiety. If you don't know me then I should tell you - this is not me. I have often and summarily pooh-pooh'd those sort of things with a "just get over it or I will slap you" sort of thinking.

I guess I am the one who needs to be slapped now.

Go back up to the last paragraph where I said "rather stressed" - let's change that to "enormously" to better reflect my score of 738. Anyway, as I was getting ready to walk out the door of my friend's home (who so generously let me stay) I felt like I was not going to be able to get through another moment without bursting into tears and a bundle of nerves.

So I asked the Lord....

I literally only had about 30 seconds, but grabbed my little pink travel Bible and "lucky dipped" (as John calls it) to Isaiah 8:6. I quickly read,

"Because this people has rejected the gently flowing waters of Shiloah..."

So, in that 30 seconds, I quickly remembered that "Shiloah" meant peace. I thanked the Lord for reminding me of the peace He wants to give me, asked Him to show me how I was rejecting His peace and promised to chew on this later.

Later, when I had time (from my stressful week :) I studied the whole passage and learned a lot about what this all meant. Mind you, I do NOT consider myself any sort of Bible scholar whatsoever. But I do like to learn the context of what I am reading.

Shiloah means "gentle, quiet." The root word means "rest."

The waters of Shiloah refer to a small fountain sending forth a little stream to the city of Jerusalem - a brook bubbling up from Mount Zion which flowed quietly and peacefully through the city.

God had provided these peaceful waters while His people were under siege by their enemies. They ridiculed that little brook that ran through Jerusalem and, instead, boasted in their enemies' kings! The very people who were planning their destruction were their heroes!

They were more impressed with the mighty Euphrates river that could give better protection during battle. They looked at their enemies and admired them for their courage and resources.

Of course, this all comes back to: What does this mean for me?

I believe that this river of peace and mercy is flowing within me but I have been rejecting it and replacing it with my own strengths and abilities. I have been admiring the resources of my enemies, while not recognizing what has been provided to me...now.

Psalm 46 says:

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
   the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
   God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
   he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.
and then later:
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”
 The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.

So, among all of this chaos in my life, I have a river of peace and rest that flows in me. To reject it means victory for my enemies:  confusion, stress, fear, mistrust, trauma, anxiety, worry, hardship, tension...you get the idea.

To accept the waters of Shiloah means peace. Why would I choose anything else?