As I was writing about my Daddy, I began to think about the Father's love for me. I realized that I have never breathed one breath of life without knowing that God loves me. "For God so loved the world," was never a new discovery for me....and thanks to my parents, I have always lived knowing that Jesus died on the cross for me.
Since the Father's love has always been on the landscape of my life, I have begun to wonder if I am "entitled." You know, the same thing we say about our own kids and their generation. They are entitled to a college education paid for by us...they are entitled to not having to work as hard in life as we had to...etc. It's a complaint really.
In my reflection of this, I realized that possibly, I feel entitled to God's love and sacrifice for me. I mean, I can't think of a minute without it.
It occurred to me that I never knew life without my earthly Father's love. I was born and he was there with an implied love. I moved through life just knowing...
Now, my Dad was not terribly demonstrative with his love, it was implicit. The fact is, he didn't start saying the words, "I love you" to me until, as an adult, I forced him because I always said it to him and it was awkward for him NOT to reply. He soon became very comfortable with using the words, "I love you."
My Daddy expressed his love in ways that Father's should express love. He made a living and paid for our food and shelter. He prayed for us daily. He loved my mother and stayed married to her for over 55 years, until he passed from this life.
I didn't realize it at the time, but my Father's last words to me were an expression of his tacit love for me. In the last week of his life, all of his functions were shutting down. A few days before he died, I was on the phone with him, not realizing this would be the last conversation we would ever have. Just before we hung up my Daddy said these words to me, "Do you love me as much as I love you?" By the next day, he could no longer speak.
I cannot tell you how much it means to me to have had my Daddy speak those words to me as his last.
Maybe I did feel entitled...and maybe I do take my Father's love for granted...but isn't that what kids do?
It's true that we mostly felt loved at all times. We expect others to have grown up the same. Sad to say, this isn't true. We were blessed to have an earthly father who showed us his love. The wonderful thing is, we all have a heavenly Father who is just waiting to show us His love. He is nothing like our earthly fathers, even the best of them. He just loves without measuring how much we give back!
ReplyDeleteCindie,
ReplyDeleteYou are SO fortunate to have had that relationship with your Dad. It wasn't that way for Ron, but make SURE you have Ronnie tell you how God miraculously spoke to him about that last year. It's beyond amazing.