Which brings me to the subject of this blog....what the heck?! I have way more friends than I even THOUGHT! All of a sudden, my friends are buying me Starbuck's Javachip Frappuccinos and beyond!
Truly, I have been humbled by the love and concern you have for me. Not just for my "addiction" - but for my life in general.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. And I cannot thank you enough for your generosity and outpouring of love. I have always treasured my friends, and lately, have been reminded why.
GIVING VS. RECEIVING
I have been on the side of giving much more than receiving. I must say, it is more comfortable on the "other" side, in so many ways. I was wondering why it is more uncomfortable for me to be on the receiving side... then I read something that Jesus said:
"I've never, as you so well know, had any taste for wealth or fashion. With these bare hands I took care of my own basic needs and those who worked with me. In everything I've done, I have demonstrated to you how necessary it is to work on behalf of the weak and not exploit them. You'll not likely go wrong here if you keep remembering that our Master said, 'You're far happier giving than getting.'" Acts 20:33-34 The Message
For so long, I have been a "do-it-yourself-er" - in more ways than I knew. I have stubbornly held to the "I can do it myself" mentality. Waiting until my last gasp to ask for help....even from God.
Of course, our strengths are always the same as our weaknesses. I learned this a long time ago...for my kids and husband....but not me.
These songs were pretty much my modus operandi over the years....
I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!
On any given day, you may wander by my house or even at work and hear me singing, "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan....."
Really, I am SO not kidding. It isn't that I felt that women were superior or that women were held back in society....it's just that I have always felt strong and, well....invincible.
I have always looked for needs in OTHERS and tried to help them solve THEIR problems and help in different ways. I guess I never considered myself and my need for any help....because - I could do it myself.
....until now. God has brought me to an utterly undone place. Mind you, this place has been lurking for some time and drowned out by my womanly ROAR! But, through you, my friends, God has led me to this place I have passed over many times....a place that I have ignored the place that shows me that I really do need others.
I'm not sure why, but as I am writing this, my tears are beginning. That bugs me too! I have NO PROBLEM crying over a sad movie or even someone else's need or sorrow. But as I come face to face with my own weakness, it makes me cry. I think it starts as a mad cry, but maybe if I stay with it, the tears will be healing.
Thank you for holding my hand and bringing me here.
love you.
ReplyDelete