STAND AND CHOOSE JOY....AGAIN (...or Saving my Sister From the Lion!)

I thought I already chose JOY. But I find myself slipping back into some place that I don't want to be. I truly believe that I am right where God wants me...then why do I feel so bad?

And is bad all that bad? 

I mean...should I be avoiding bad feelings or should I embrace them? I really don't know.

You see, I put my emotions on "hold" for a very, very long time....a VERY long time. Maybe they got rusty or something, because when I go to "feel" it is such unfamiliar territory for me. I shut 'em down to avoid bad feelings...

I told myself that avoiding bad feelings helped others.

Here is what I mean... When you express bad things or feelings, it makes others uncomfortable and when one lives their life out of the habit of pleasing others, it is, without question, the kindest and most sensible thing to do. RIGHT? hmmmmm.....

So now that I live alone and am in a position that many of my friends don't know what to do with because the whole situation makes them uncomfortable or they don't know what to say or are afraid to ask me about it....

Many of my friends have mysteriously been missing from my life. But that's another blog.

Back to the bad feelings....do I run away from them or face them?

There are two sides of the fence on this one. Which are you on?

When I was a little girl, I remember specifically some of my nightmares. I didn't have an inordinate amount, but enough to keep me respectful of the dark! One of them was actually AFTER I woke up to a noise in the dark room that I shared with my little sister. I heard a LION on the top bunk! He was breathing like any normal lion would. I opened my eyes and I saw his tail hanging down from the end of the top bunk and one of his paws was draped over the side! He had eaten my little sister who slept up there! ....and he just lay there breathing...

What would you have done at that moment? 

Some of you would hide your heads under the covers and lie awake in fear until morning. Nothing wrong with that.

What did I do? Like any good big sister, I took a deep breath and I prayed and jumped up and turned on the light so I could see the lion that ate my sister and deal with him!

What happened next...?! Well, I saw that his tail was the belt to a robe hanging off the end of the top bunk and his paw was the sleeve from that same robe and my little sister was up there sleeping and breathing JUST LIKE A LION!

What if I had kept my head under to covers in fear all night? I know I would not have slept a wink and I would have still had to deal with the carnage in the morning.

My point is obvious, I hope. Looking at bad things square in the face seems to be ultimately a more healthy approach to it.

But sometimes the angst it takes to get there is quite overwhelming.

I ran across this song by Rascal Flatts. I don't think it's new, but I really liked the message:

"Stand"

You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless

Like you've lost your fight

But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

[Chorus:]

Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend, till you break

Cause its all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad you get strong

Wipe your hands shake it off

Then you Stand, Then you stand

Life's like a novel

With the end ripped out

The edge of a canyon

With only one way down

Take what you're given before its gone

Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend till you break

Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe your hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand

Everytime you get up

And get back in the race

One more small piece of you

Starts to fall into place

Oh

So I guess I just have to get back up, dust off and make the choice for JOY AND to save my sister from the lion!