Waiting for the Strength

Here is what the quiet of yesterday brought me.... tears today....

...streaming down my face.

I guess my insides are not as healthy as I thought. I feel like I'm damaged goods. I feel like I'm used up.

Too old to start over and too young to give in. 

I was hoping that the quiet would bring me strength. But right now I don't feel very strong - just vulnerable and weak. I'm hoping that this is all a part of it.

I can't use the PMS excuse anymore, so I'm hoping the moon is full so I have an excuse for all of this.

So, I was quiet...now I need to trust...right?

 "Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” 

 ....He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows.   .....streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill. The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the Lord binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted."     -Isaiah

 So, I wait for it.