Who Gets the Millstone....Hold the Coats or Protect the Innocent

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

I had an epiphany today....

I’m listening to a presentation and just learned about the Boys and Girls Club of America having been involved in child sexual abuse for many years now. Tragic, but I always wondered…. 

Anyway, I realized that I tend to be naive… I trust the “system” too much… although that is probably a thing of the past now.

Here is my big reveal: In 1989, when it was discovered that two of my children along with many others, were being molested by our trusted Sunday school teacher and his wife and likely another, I trusted the system to bring justice to my family, my friends, and our church. This is not the place for details, but after riveting and convincing testimony by the children and the longest and costliest criminal trial in San Diego history, the abuser was acquitted in 1993. I could not wrap my mind around it. I still can’t.

To add insult to injury, he turned around and brought a civil suit to the church which made him a millionaire …. for molesting our children. Let that sink in.

My American justice system had failed us miserably. I have mourned and grieved for this for so many years… I have blamed it on the abuser and the media (who made these children and families a laughingstock.)

 
But today…. It occurred to me that the church had failed us as well and in the worst way. Stay with me on this…. I could be wrong - but I don’t think so. As a pastor’s daughter and wife for MOST of my life, I trusted the church “system” - until I didn’t. And that is now. 

At a time when the local and global church (this was national news) could have wrapped its arms around us all, they made improvements to the childcare/Sunday School area and then proceeded to let us all dangle as fools in front of the world. 

The “why” of it is what hit me tonight. The church was protecting its “good name.” The church calculatedly distanced itself from the victims and families who believed them. When push came to shove the “higher ups” denied that anything happened and even one lied on the stand and said nothing happened (after 4 years earlier telling me personally after examining one of my children that something “definitely” happened of a sexual nature.) A few years later, he committed suicide. 

So, the epiphany is that my local church, while I always thought we were the bride of Christ, hung back, held the coats, and watched while the world stoned our lambs.

The question is.... who gets the millstone around their neck?