What I have learned about cancer…. So far

 

As you may or may not know – I have been visited by the “c” word this past year. And I am definitely learning a thing or two…

 

1.     Cancer surrounds & envelopes you. It becomes who you are for a time. You wake and think about it, you try to sleep and it infuses your mind and thoughts. If not checked, it insidiously can become your identity – taking the place of who God says you are.

• Strategies I am using: Music to start my day and remember that “Today is the day that the Lord has made – I will rejoice and be glad in it…” My favorite for this one is an older one but it gets me going every time: “Today is the Day” by Lincoln Brewster. I have a few standards that helped me through the heartache of divorce and prodigal kids.

2.     Cancer is lonely. Even if you have love and support there is a certain part of your life that just hides away. Sometimes I get to feeling sorry for myself.

• Strategies I am using: Embrace the loneliness but remember those who love and support you. Don’t hide away and let that feeling sorry for yourself last no longer than 5 minutes!

3.     Cancer is not the end. The Bible says “for to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” So either way I win! If I live – I get to continue loving my family and friends – but if my body dies, I GET to go to heaven! 

• Strategies I am using: Reminding myself through the word that I know the end of my story.

4.     Cancer = Fear. That is - if you let it. Don’t let it! It can actually make you physically worse!

• Strategies I am using: I still quote this scripture often to my kids: God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and love and of a sound mind. Now I quote it to myself.

5.     Cancer creates a sort of chaos in your very being. Chaos and negativity makes everything worse.

• Strategies I am using: I have changed my environment to a healthier one. People who don’t respect you need to take a back seat to your healing. Those who take without giving need to be somewhere else besides where you are.

 

What I have learned about myself in this process …. So far

1.     I am not a particularly compassionate person when it comes to illness. I consider myself Kathy Bates-like (in the movie “Misery”). 

2.     I’m pretty sure I am beginning to understand illness better. I’ve always thought to myself: just brush it off and it will be all better. That’s because I have not been ill much, and when I have been, I tend to brush it off until….

3.     I am not particularly fond of western medicine and the cancer industry, nor do I have much faith or respect. I can’t say that has changed a whole lot yet, but as I am passing through this all, I am adding some well-advised natural medicine to this cocktail to cure this disease. I am also realizing that those who are in the industry – by and large – are wonderful humans.

4.     I swore I would NEVER, EVER get chemo! Ask everyone in my family – I made it a point to look them square in the eye and say that to them. But I guess God had other plans.

 

God is good. He has never and will never change. That is why I know the end of the story.